MIA
by randomly
Summary: There’s a war between Iwa- and Otogakure’s army and Konohagakure; Already at the beginning of the war, at a young age, Itachi was captured by enemy shinobi something which ultimately leads to his slaughering of his clan. There is angst, yaoi.Read inside..


**Random Rambling:**** I came up with the idea for this listening to Avenged Sevenfold's M.I.A.  
Haha, whilst writing this I was at Sandy's place, and we were bored… I like the idea of this, so I'm hoping it'll be liked; without encouragement I'm not sure I'll keep this going, cause I've got enough other things to complete… **

**Oh yeah, and for those who don't know; M.I.A. stands for Missing In Action. Military thing. **

**Now**** away from the ramblings and on with the fic.**

**Summary: **There's an ongoing war between Iwa- and Otogakure's joint army and Konohagakure; it's lasted for several years and showing no signs of coming to an end. Already at the beginning of the war, at a young age, Itachi was captured by enemy shinobi, but due to his bloodline he got 'special' treatment. He joins the enemy and quickly advances in their ranks, finally having to prove his loyalty by doing one, simple thing; slaying his clan. This is his story…

**Disclaimer:**** I will write this once, here at the very beginning, and that should be enough. Naruto does not belong to me, it's © to Masashi Kishimoto. This story/plot, however, is mine.**

**Warnings:**** (most likely some of it Shota) Yaoi/Lemon/Smut– whatever you wish to call it, it's here. I would advise you to, if you do not like that, simply not read the fic. There will also be violence, abuse (physical and mental) and lots of – shall we say – dark thoughs. **

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X – Major Time skip/Other people**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x – Small time skip/Scene change**

**x.x.x**

**Reviews, please, it's not necessary, but always nice – and I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas!**

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X**

**M.I.A.**

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X**

Amid a stillness profound as death... enshrouded in the sky and the sun that burns the flesh, you are vanishing as you go.  
What is it that I seek amid this wandering? What for myself, all alone--

Even if you despise yourself from within the depths of frigid eyes still clutching at the hatred,  
the pain will not, cannot be stifled.  
Embracing that eternally living sorrow,

I cannot help still remembering that vanished person whom once you were,  
and my unwavering, unchangeable feelings toward you:  
So deeply, so very deeply, even now...  
yes... I love you still.

Illumined by the moonlight, even the feel of your name, hummed beneath my breath, is snatched away and extinguished by the wind.

I kept singing that song for you, the one you taught me as you smiled at the dawn;  
and I kept on counting the tears that returned to the starry sky;  
again and again and yet again, the nights merely repeated themselves--  
ah, so deeply, so very deeply, even now...  
yes... I love you still.

Hoshi no Suna (English lyrics) by Gackt

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X**

**Chapter 1: The Kinslayer**

**Three Years Past**

A black haired boy stands alone, cut off from his allies and surrounded by enemy shinobi. He knows he cannot win, none the less he lets out a loud battle cry and charges at his opponents, slaying three of the many with his trusted katana before he is taken down by a heavy blow to the head made with the hilt of an enemy's sword.

His sight is blurred as he first opens his eyes, it takes him some minutes to get used to the darkness around him and the feel of several chains sealed with chakra that are restraining him. He's scared, so scared, he's been captured, and with his opponents he'd expected death, that would have been easier, too.

Konoha is at war, and has been so for little over six months, it all started when Iwa- and Otogakure teamed up and attempted to gain control over Konohagakure. Their first attempt almost succeeded, it was a huge scale surprise attack during the chuunin exams that were held in Konoha that year, but Konoha's shinobi managed to beat them back. The war has only gotten more complicated since then.

The boy is an Uchiha, one of a clan that is both known in Konoha and throughout the shinobi nations for their great powers, his clan has been fighting in the front lines for Konoha, all of them except his little brother who is only six years old, the youngest of the clan. The boy in capture is only 11 himself, but he is an exceptional child, receiving the rank of jounin just before the war commenced, that is why he fights.

The door to the room opens slowly, revealing the figure of a rather large man, then the lights come on, bright, glory lights that blind him for minutes.

"So, what have we here?" the man asks, his voice sounds so evil, and it sends out clear vibes that the man thinks he is superior to the boy, which he, at current, is.

The boy opens his cobalt eyes, looking straight into the man's icy, dark ones, then, since he cannot move, he show his displeasure by spitting at the floor right in front of the man.

"Feisty, aren't you… Uchiha" When he hears his last name said he falls quiet, sitting still and looking at the man who, at knowing that the boy's eyes are on him, grins maliciously and keeps on speaking. "You are the exceptionally talented second-to-youngest child of the Uchiha clan, Genin at age 7, chuunin at 9 an Jounin at 11, you were even a candidate to become an ANBU before the war…" He was cut off by the boy asking him slowly in a resolute voice.

"How do you know so much about me?" The man only smirks as a note of having heard the boy, then he, to the boy's surprise, answers the question.

"I am second in command to Otogakure, directly serving Orochimaru-sama, my name is… well, you can, like everyone else, call me Pein-sama, and to answer your questions, your dearly beloved Konoha is infiltrated by spies, but you obviously haven't noticed that… Now I shall offer you a deal, young Uchiha, and you may do as you please, but let me tell you that this is an offer not many get. Either; you join our ranks and work for us, then we let you live; or we kill you right now, and we go after your family, your little brother, too…"

The boy took his time thinking over the proposal, arriving at the conclusion that the best thing to do would be to join the ranks of the IO, that was what everyone used as a short form for the Iwa-Oto, army; that would spare his life and save his family, and his little brother, who even had nothing to do with the war, from the troubles that they would otherwise have to face. He sighed and took a deep breath, then, with a completely stoic, true Uchiha expression he nodded, saying he'd agree to the terms of the agreement.

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X**

**Five**** days ago**

The Shinobi had been travelling for about 4 days when his destination finally came into sight, the gates of Konoha seeming larger and larger as he approached them until he was standing in the forest only about 20 meters from his dearly missed home town. He let a melancholy smile grace his lips as he thought of the place he had once called home, that he still called his home, then resumed his emotionless expression. He was here on a mission, nothing more, nothing less; the mission: Kill the Uchiha clan.

He'd been in sound for almost three years, the agreement he'd made with Pein, who had at the time been acting on behalf of Orochimaru himself, so long ago holding him there. He'd advanced quickly in the ranks of the Oto-nin due to his extraordinary powers and abilities, and since he was one of the two candidates to become Orochimaru's second in command general – The other was a woman, Conan, Pein was the general in command - he had to prove himself trustworthy. The mission he was on was on level with his abilities, but what he had to do was horrible. It was Orochimaru himself that had briefed him on the mission, and the man had been dead serious when he spoke. 'To prove yourself you must kill your clan, you may let one person live to tell. If you do not accomplish the mission, or if you attempt to run away, we will easily track you down and kill you, and then my men will be the ones to finish your family, and they may do whatever they please with them before they kill them.' Those had been his exact words, leaving the now teen no choice but to comply.

He was a child prodigy, the genius of the Uchiha clan, and to him the mission was not physically hard, but it was taking its toll on him mentally. He easily got in over the walls, concealing his chakra perfectly and sliding past the two shinobi at watch gate by his entrance point, two dark haired males. Once he was inside the village he henged into a passerby, a young boy, and made his way towards the Uchiha district, finding penetrating the village surprisingly easy – since they were at war he'd figured that they'd be more alert, maybe it was his possibly-above-sannin-level skills that made it all so simple.

It took him a while to get where he was going, only the distance and his short child legs at fault, he still knew the way like the back of his hand, but once he was safely inside the walls of the Uchiha district he looked around, then walked further and further into what he knew would make his life truly hell.

In his search for clan-members he walked towards the main house, as he was only one corner away he found his first-to-be victim, a man he remembered to be one of his uncles, but he couldn't remember the name. He approached the man in the form of the small boy that he'd henged, looking up at him with his currently big, brown eyes, and just as the man was about to say something to him he changed into himself, the man staring at him in disbelief as reached for him. He heard the man mumbling his name like a whisper just before the he put his hands around his throat and hit a pressure point in his neck, making him drop dead on the spot, silently.

He activated his weapons scroll, retrieving a long and a short katana as well as his shuriken, kunai and explosive tags, now he was ready. As he entered the next street no one seemed to notice him at first, but once he stepped fully out of the alleyway he'd come from, all eyes were on him, his name on everyone's lips. He decided to make it quick, sending a kunai with three attached explosive tags on it into the crowd that was gathering, something which killed a third of them, the ones closest to the blast, and rendered most the others hurt. After his bold entrance he approached the rest of them, pulling out his longer katana, and killed them off, mostly easy, though some of them put up quite a fight for their state.

He quickly walked past the bleeding corpses, only few meters from the main house when he heard a familiar name calling his voice, he turned around only to find his best… no, his former best friend, Uchiha Shisui, looking sadly at him.

"You come back and this is what happens? Why has it come to this?" he asked, his eyes, laden with sadness and a feeling Itachi couldn't quite place, but it seemed to him like despair, locked on the other's.

"I'm sorry," The raven whispered, then chargeed at his unarmed friend and kinsman. The boy seemed to understand that there was nothing he could do, that his fate had already been decided for him, yet he put up a good fight under the circumstances. Still, he ended up lying bloody and beaten on the ground, the victorious' eyes flaring red. Finally he obtained what he has wanted ever since the corruption from his surrounding in Otogakure finally got to him, the Mangekyo Sharingan, yet the bitter taste of his success somehow overpowered the good feelings he might have under other circumstances.

He walked inside the large building, unsure of where his parents, those are who he was looking for now, may be, but his legs take him to the Dojo, and as he walked inside, seeing the familiar figures, he felt his soul breaking. It's beyond repair, but he knows what he has to do. The two friendly figures smiled at him, but he wouldn't allow himself to return their happiness. He looked seriously at them, and they understood something was wrong, then he explained what he is doing to them – his mother, Mikoto, breaking down in tears, and Fugaku, his father, supporting her, looking at his son seriously.

"I will not go down without a fight, you know that, right? But I believe we both already know the outcome. Just promise me one thing, when you kill us, be swift." The boy nodded, then the fight commenced, and as they all knew he stood victorious in the end.

He sat in the Dojo, the bodies of his parents lying neatly on the floor, he killed his father by piercing his heart, his mother by a pressure point, waiting. Hours passed, but as the clock neared 4 pm he heard running footsteps in the hallway, then someone knocked at the dojo door before it opened slowly. The boy has already decided what to do, and activated his Mangekyo Sharingan, creating an illusion just in time as the younger boy stepped into the room, his eyes open wide in horror and his mouth open. His expression was one of pure fear.

"Ototo," the boy said to the younger, smiling maliciously at him – the act he was putting on at that very moment is likely the hardest thing he has ever done, even harder than killing them all.

"Aniki?" the smaller asked, looking confusedly up at his brother.

"Yes."

"You're home" the child said, but he felt that something was wrong. "W-why are you here? W-w-what's happened?" the younger stuttered as he spoke, fear so very evident in his voice.

"I'm back, nii-chan, to test my strength, and I did so by killing them. Yes, it was me, even mom and dad. Now, Sasuke, if you hold your life dear you will run, run and not look back. If you want to hate me, feel free to do so, if you want to kill me do so in the future when you are strong, because right now you are too weak, worthless, and I will not even bother killing someone like you." The little boy looked up at his older brother, terror in his eyes, then he turned around and started running, following his brothers advice and never looking back.

The raven was left standing alone, again, feeling tears pressing on his eyes, he blinked them back but once they started to fall they just didn't stop, shining brightly in the sunlight. He performed some simple hand signals, quickly appearing in a small alley close to the Konoha gates, then he made his way out unnoticed and headed back to Otogakure and his new life as one of Orochimaru's generals – he knew h'd get the position, the mission was only a test to see him fit, Conan is probably to remain Pein's right hand woman like she has been for years.

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X**

**Presently**

The boy has just returned to Otogakure and Orochimaru's headquarters, but as soon as he enters he is met by a quite large teenager with blue skin who, strangely much, reminds him of a fish, Kisame.

"Itachi," the fish-boy says, looking dangerously at him.

"Hai, Kisame, what is it?" the Uchiha's voice is tired and wary, his eyes look as if they are drained of all emotion.

"Orochimaru-sama wants to see you." He pauses, then adds "Now."

"Okay, I'll be going, then. Thanks for telling me…"as he speaks he walks past the blue-skinned teenager and further into the depths of their lair, his form is crouch and defeated, his head drooping, heading for their leaders office. It doesn't take him long to get there, only about five minutes, but he hesitates as he nears the door, standing completely still outside it for a couple of minutes before he hears a voice from inside.

"Come in, Itachi." It's the snake, that's what they all call him; it's due to his appearance. His eyes are yellow with cat-like pupils, his tongue long and split like a snakes. His skin is pale, too, and his voice low and rasping, yet powerful.

The boy does as he is told, opening the door and stepping inside carefully before he closes it behind him, then he moves to sit in the chair opposite Orochimaru's desk, waiting for what the male has to say.

"You did good, Itachi, completing the mission like you were told," the man has an evil smirk on his face. "You killed your family, destroying all bonds you ever had with that leaf village of yours, and now this is where you belong." The boy nods in defeat before the man continues. "I have decided to make you my second-in-command general. Congratulations." The boy merely nods, then stands.

"May I take my leave, Orochimaru-sama?" he asks, "I'd like to clean up and such, if that is fine with you…" The snake nods, motioning to the door.

"Yes, go ahead, Itachi, your training with Pein first starts in two days, until then you may take it easy." Itachi stands without saying a word, then walks out the door and heads for his own room, only as he get's inside and locks the door does he let himself feel; collapsing onto his bed and crying desperately, covering his face with his pillow to stifle his sobs – his whole body is trembling.

Hours pass, he stopped crying some time ago, his eyes red and swollen, and now he's just sitting in a corner of his bed, leaned towards the wall and cradling his pillow, holding onto it as if for bare life. He shakes his head repeatedly, tugging at his black hair, refusing to believe what has happened, but it's too late to change what he has done.

He's killed his whole clan, every single one of his family members except for his little brother, Sasuke, who is the one he chose to let live, murdering them all mercilessly, slaying them one by one. He shudders, his whole body shaking as he realizes the extent of what he's done, and he lets out another chocked sob once he also understand the extensive effect it will have on his little brother's life. His beloved little brother is orphaned because of him, having to meet his very same fate just in a different village, he thinks. Oh yes, do not think that in a time of war Konoha is better than Otogakure, the Godaime hokage, the sandaime hokage died in the very first attack towards Konoha, is a good woman, but the council can overrule her, and they are old and power hungry. Again tears start to fall from his eyes and he presses his head as far into his pillow as he can until it stops.

He awakens, groggily opening his eyes and sitting up as he notices someone knocking at his door. He casts a glance at the clock on his nightstand, noting it to 3.45 am, and then stands and walks to the door, opening it cautiously – he has no clue who it might be this late at night. He steps back and looks at the person standing in his doorway, taking in his whole appearance. The boy is a smaller than him and blonde, and for an unknown reason he has one mouth inside each of his palm, and a large, sewn one on his chest. He's an Iwa-nin, but ended up at the Otogakure headquarters due to his great skill with explosives. The boy is one of those closest to Itachi in the hellhole they live in, yet when he sees his face, the Uchiha decided that he will never again show his true emotions to anyone, he will become what he was always meant to be, an emotionless tool.

The blonde steps into his door and closes the door behind him, advancing towards the raven, placing one hand of each of his shoulder before he leans in and kisses him passionately. They have a strange relationship, the two of them; when they first met neither could stand the other, but in time they got to know each other, and now they were the closest thing to a friend either had in the evil world they live in. As their lips part their eyes meet, Deidara's searching the Uchiha's, but finding them so cold, colder than usual, and it scares him.

"What is it, Itachi, un?" He knows nothing of the mission, and Itachi has no plans of telling him, not wanting to burden one of the, although he is an insane man who's killed many, most innocent people in his surroundings. Still, he can see that something is wrong.

"I killed them all." The blonde looks questioningly at him. "He made me kill them all." On the inside he is breaking apart, yet his appearance remains strangely stoic, the inner turmoil he is experience not showing in any way.

"Who did you kill, Itachi? And what's upsetting you about it this time, you've killed so many before, un?" The Uchiha tries his best to keep his calm, cold composure, but he can't, a tear slipping from his eye as he speaks.

"My clan. He made me kill them all except for Sasuke." There is no need to explain to the blonde who Sasuke is, they both know everything there is to know about each other. Deidara stands silently, contemplating whether or not he should speak when he feels Itachi's lips on his again, this time the kiss seems desperate and needing.

He kisses back for all his worth, though he lets Itachi take charge, if the teen needs a distraction he will happily give it if it meant that he could – if not be happy – at least remain sane. The black haired boy pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, the look he gives saying more than words ever could. In it the Uchiha manages to put all the emotions tearing him apart, the sorrow, loneliness and desperateness shining so clearly through that the blonde can't hold back a shiver. Itachi takes his hand, making him look at him, then speaks.

"Thank you, Dei. You're my angel, do you know that?" The blonde smiles that mischievous, childish smile that only he can and that Itachi has come to love, then he stretches forwards and places a chaste kiss on the ravens forehead.

"I'll be here, Itachi. No matter what the others are like, you know you can always come to me, right? I'm here for you, raven, as long as you want me, un…" _I'll be here for you because that's how I keep you coming back to me, and without you, in this place, I'd surely die…_

The two were only friends the first months after they started getting along, at some point of time they started falling for each other, now they have a highly defective, top secret relationship, if anyone ever knows they'd probably never be able to see each other again, so they keep it that way.

The fourteen year old, black haired boy takes a hold of the blonde and pulls him towards the bed, toppling them over so that the smaller is sitting atop him. He sits up, leaning on his elbows, and stretches forwards, the blonde taking his hint and kissing him, pushing them both down. Itachi can eventually not wait any longer, biting down on the blondes lips so he gasps, once the blonde's lips are parted he darta his tongue inside the younger's mouth, tangling it with said blondes as they battled for dominance – the Uchiha, of course, wins that battle.

Deidara is the one to pull back from the kiss first, pulling off his shirt and throwing it to the ground, then he starts working on the ravens, peeling it off his bruised, now sweaty body. The boys can't keep their hands off the other, both so desperate from closeness and loving touches, as hands roam bodies. The meeting of their two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, both are transformed**1****, **such was the case for the two boys, who suddenly changes from their usual selves and into animals, touching, licking, biting at every inch of skin they could. Itachi locks eyes with Deidara and the blonde can tell what he was thinking.

"Do you… want to do it, un?" He asks, although they've been together for more than half a year the way that they were now they've still not had sex, but for the sake of his raven, the blonde is willing to go the next step.

"I… I need you, Dei…" the Uchiha mumbles, and he means it. It isn't that he doesn't want the blonde that makes him say it that way, on the contrary, but right now he really does _need_ him, desperate to feel that he is still alive. The blonde smiles at him, his eyes laden with lust, as he starts pulling of his pants and boxers, then proceeding to tug at Itachi's until the male takes them off.

"Be gentle, please…" the blonde can say no more as Itachi presses a finger to his lips and put his on the other side, their lips barely ghosting, at the same time he inserts a first finger into the blonde who tenses at the intrusion, only relaxing as the fingers of Itachi's other hand tweak his left nipple and their lips meet once again. He wasn't exactly sure what to do, it wasn't as if he'd had a chance to do it before, but when he feels it's right Itachi inserts a second digit, slowly starting to scissor his fingers to stretch the blonde. After he'd done the same for quite some time Deidara looks up at him, his eyes hazed with lust.

"Just… Do it, un…" He pants, Itachi nods and prepares to comply. He positiones himself at the blonde's entrance and starts slowly pushing into the boy, stopping when he sees the pain on his face and the tears rolling down his cheeks, taking one hand and drying them off, leaning forwards to kiss the blonde. After a while Deidara stops crying and nods to Itachi.

"You can continue now, un" he whispers.

The raven keeps moving in and out of him slowly, carefully, but Deidara's body determines on its own what it wants, and it bucks up against Itachi, increasing the friction between them.

"Faster, 'Tachi" the blonde moans as the Uchiha does something wonderful, sending waves of pleasure through his body. "Do that again, and harder!" His eyes are only half lidded, but shoot open when Itachi slams into the same spot once again, earning himself a content purring noise from the blonde.

The two boys didn't go much longer before Itachi felt he was going to cum, wrapping one hand around Deidara's shaft and pumping him whilst he neared his own completion.

"I'm gonna… Itachi!" Deidara can't finish speaking before he spills his seed between them, the white, sticky liquid coating their bodies, at least partially. The mere sight of his lover is enough for Itachi, who comes moaning the blonde's name, They both collapse, next to each other on Itachi's bed, and soon Deidara falls asleep in his 'boyfriend's' arms, the Uchiha staying up a little while longer before the exhaustion of the mission past and his first time makes him fall asleep, completely drained of any energy

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Itachi blinks his eyes slowly, letting out a low groan as he realizes Deidara has already left, then he stretches out his hand to turn on his nightstand lamp, casting a glance at his clock at the same time. 12.42 pm, no wonder Deidara already left, days for the normal soldiers, the category to which the blonde belongs, start at 9 am.

He thinks back to last night, allowing the corners of his lips to twitch slightly up, then he resumes his normal, cold expression. That night was wonderful, he'd been longing to make Deidara truly his for so long, but what had led to the event… It made him nauseous just thinking about it.

_Outside dead b__odies were lying on the ground; Inside, his katana was piercing his father's chest, his heart, blood quickly soaking the shirt he was wearing. His eyes were calm as he looked into those of his son, and as he smiled Itachi shuddered, the pain he felt at that very moment was greater than any he'd ever felt before, and hopefully than any he'd ever feel again. _

_As he felt his father__'s chakra disappearing he turned to his mother, walking slowly towards her, yet she didn't move. As he came close to her she stretched out her arms and embraced him, whispering into his ear lovingly._

"_I love you, Itachi, always have, always will…" He couldn't help the tear that trailed his cheek as she spoke, then he raised his hands just a little further up her back and to her neck, pressing in where he knew there would be a vital pressure point, the woman dropping dead in his arms. _

_He sat down on the floor some meters from his dead parents, waiting for his little brother to come, he knew he would some time soon. Some hours passed, but finally the boy had come, a horrified look upon himself as he saw the last of his family, too, lying dead, and then his thought-to-be dead brother standing up and walking towards him._

_W__hat he'd done regarding Sasuke was the best he could do for his little brother, he knew, yet it hurt. It hurt so much. As he watched his brother run away all he wanted to do was break down and cry, come clean to his village and tell them everything, but he wouldn't. Couldn't; if he wanted his little brother to live – he knew that Orochimaru would go through with his threat – and he did. Tears fell down his cheeks when he watched Sasuke leave, knowing that his brother would hate him for what he had said, then he left._

He knows he should eat, but the memories leave him with no appetite, he decides to take a walk instead. As he walks out the door of his room he puts on a cold, stoic expression that even Orochimaru himself would probably envy, then heads towards the courtyard so he can go outside and clear his head and think things over.

**X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X**

1. The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction both are transformed. - A quote by Carl Jung

Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes of any other kind in this, it's unbeataed…

For any readers of behind closed doors; next chapter will be up when it's back from my Beta, sorry for the wait…


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